Sunday, August 1, 2010

4. Heather

Whilst in hospital awaiting parents, I was known as 'Heather' by the KEMH paediatric nursing staff. It’s interesting to think that for a whole month women who I’ll never know hugged me, named me, played with me, fed me and washed me. Intermittently.

Sadly, during this time because I had no constant carer I experienced ongoing stress. This was pointed out to me by a counsellor who I saw once regarding my adoption.  Everytime someone picked me up and cuddled me as a baby, they would inevitably put me down again, and more than likely I’d not be held by them again. Until another nurse picked me up and put me down. So for a month, a long time in baby-time, Baby Sarah never knew when next she was going to be fed, held,  or cuddled.  In other words, there was no  consistent bonding  schedule.

Surprise, surprise, I have abandonement issues. It’s easier when you know why.

But thank you to those nurses who cared for me and named me Heather, and to those who gave me whatever hugs and love they could during that time.

No comments:

Post a Comment